The human experience- it is something so individual that there is no way of truly knowing anyone else’s experience, but your own.  Sure, they can tell you their experience, but those are just the parts that they want you to know.  What about the things they’re too scared to admit? 

For me, being in a wheelchair took a long time to get used to, more than two years.  How can anyone expect you to get used to paralysis in a time other than the one the individual experiencing this life-altering event is comfortable with?  But people like to interfere, they like to suggest explanations of why you feel the way you feel, and tell you how you should be feeling or acting. 

My entire life and everything I knew to be true was shattered and challenged.  It has been a process of relearning my body, relearning myself, losing friends, discovering new friends, and rediscovering old ones.  It took me two years to be comfortable going out in public.  I felt judged, I felt like everyone was looking at me like, “whoa, look at that super disabled girl” or “what’s wrong with her?”  I also couldn't help but think that everything I was doing would be so much more fun if I could use my body the way I used to.  I didn't want to be doing anything other than things that were helping me reach my goal of a full recovery.  I was angry and obsessed.  I constantly had to redirect my negative thoughts into positive ones.  I sought solitude.  But people like to interfere. 

There is absolutely no way for anyone to understand MY human experience.  I had to learn to become more accepting to this reality.  “Everything happens for a reason,” “At least you’re still alive,” “God is looking over you and knows you’re strong enough to handle this,” “You need to be grateful for the things you DO have,” ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?! WHY DON'T WE SWITCH PLACES AND YOUUU BE THE PARALYZED ONE, THEN?? HMMM? Well, that’s how I felt about the positivity, interference canons that were being fired my way from every direction at the time.  This accident has been an extremely personal struggle within myself.  I knew all these things were true and still struggled to really feel like they were true.  So when the ways I “should” feel were catapulted at me by people have no clue about what was going on inside of me, I couldn't help but feel angry.  Anger subsided and I settled in at apathy for a while, but no matter where my emotions are at my goal, my focus, has never changed. 

I’ve reached a point in my recovery where my goal is still the same, but I can fully appreciate the moments in between.  I’m no longer easily affected by outside interferences.  After all, it is MY human experience and no one else’s.